||[Jul. 6th, 2008|07:46 pm]
What do you do the day you wake up and realise your so lost, you dont even remember a time when you wernt lost, When everything is second guessed and your mind has turned its self on you,you dont know where your going or where you even want to be, |
Being lost in your own mind is the hardest thing to get back from, everything feels so alone, like there is noone and nothing that could possibly pull you out of the darkness.
its like drowning or being sufficated knowing theres no way to save your self, knowing your not even sure you want to be saved.
Giving up is the easy way.
having no guidence no direction only confusion, no matter how positive you think or try to think all the crap swaps back in an hour later all the what ifs and why the hell nots. the self doubt and self distruction, think yourself into more pain, its a never ending circle, will i ever have confidence when all i can think is that its my own fault im in this situation.
I dont even know why im writing all this shit no one on this bloody thing has spoken to me in over a year if not two or three. Im not telling this to anyone in particular, not anyone at all, im writting it so its not in my head any more, so i couldnt give two shits what anyone things, of how over dramatic or stupid you may think i am. i dont care this is my own self therapy so just dont bother judging me, my mind does that on its own.
and no im not going to hurt myself and this isnt a cry for attention