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(no subject) [Jul. 6th, 2008|07:46 pm]
What do you do the day you wake up and realise your so lost, you dont even remember a time when you wernt lost, When everything is second guessed and your mind has turned its self on you,you dont know where your going or where you even want to be,

Being lost in your own mind is the hardest thing to get back from, everything feels so alone, like there is noone and nothing that could possibly pull you out of the darkness.

its like drowning or being sufficated knowing theres no way to save your self, knowing your not even sure you want to be saved.

Giving up is the easy way.

having no guidence no direction only confusion, no matter how positive you think or try to think all the crap swaps back in an hour later all the what ifs and why the hell nots. the self doubt and self distruction, think yourself into more pain, its a never ending circle, will i ever have confidence when all i can think is that its my own fault im in this situation.

I dont even know why im writing all this shit no one on this bloody thing has spoken to me in over a year if not two or three. Im not telling this to anyone in particular, not anyone at all, im writting it so its not in my head any more, so i couldnt give two shits what anyone things, of how over dramatic or stupid you may think i am. i dont care this is my own self therapy so just dont bother judging me, my mind does that on its own.

and no im not going to hurt myself and this isnt a cry for attention
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(no subject) [Dec. 5th, 2006|08:32 pm]
Heya all!

I will be back in watford on saturday 16th.

and me and amy have planned an outing of much jubilation.

basiclly it envolves the good old days of reflex! and you cant complain that its old and boring cos you havnt been for ages... especially not as the old ricky group!

so only decent reason as to why you arnt coming!! you can bring extras... we and amy are both bringing the boyfriends along.

so yeah tell me who is free and we can sort times from there!

but it will most likely be around 8 or 9.

so monday 18th (student night) reflex..... like the good ol days!!

get back to me biatchs!!

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(no subject) [Aug. 24th, 2006|11:49 am]
Hey everyone.

i dont know if everyone else got the email from UCAS about this site or not.

so incase you didnt here is a link to a site where you can meet other people from your university and chat online and stuffs.


is good iv joined it.
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(no subject) [Jun. 19th, 2006|10:34 pm]


i would go on... but i would just end up repeating myself far to many times.

i have my final grading tomorrow first thing.... and i know that i have to get merit merit merit to get into my uni.

and i am panicking like mad that im not guna get it, and that everything will fall apart within and hour and a half!

but at the end of the day i like to think that stuff does happen for a reason so i guess if my plan fails it will be for a reasona nd il find something else and that will be a good thing too.

i guess im more stressed over not knowing

i just want to know what il be doing in september!

anyway panic over.... welll me typing about it anyway!

sorry all
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(no subject) [Feb. 21st, 2006|05:40 pm]
Does anyone want to join me in doing The Aviva weekend to breakthrough Breast Cancer??

theres more info here http://www.breakthroughweekend.org/index.html

its a big walk through London to raise money for cancer. its the 15th-17th september.

so yeah if anyone is interested please let me know.
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(no subject) [Dec. 11th, 2005|02:00 pm]
Like everyone else i seemed to miss the explosion completly!!

which is weird cos i kept on waking up last night everytime i rolled over.

but i missed it completely, the most of my family woke up tho.. could be cos the house shook...
I blame the late night cos of the awesome rockage of mareez's party!! WHOOT!

will post later... when i can be bothered!

its so smokey everywhere!

I am so glad i dont live in hemel. and that it wasnt a bigger explosion that would of reached further. cos loads of peoples windows shattered, (all the people who live really near there,) and well my room is at the back of the house, the explosion was from that direction.. and my bed is right under the window. so muchly glad my window is still intact!

feeling so sorry for those people in hemel with the evacuation and smoke. must be horrible. JUST NEAR CHRISTMAS TOO!!
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(no subject) [Nov. 24th, 2005|04:54 pm]


Image hosted by Photobucket.com Izzi!

Image hosted by Photobucket.com Steph

have fun being 18!

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(no subject) [Nov. 18th, 2005|09:18 pm]

i would of posted this earlier and looked original-ish cos mareez wouldnt of posted hers.... but anyhoo!

Image hosted by Photobucket.com 2002

Image hosted by Photobucket.com two days ago...2005

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(no subject) [Nov. 13th, 2005|11:14 pm]
well im baaaack!!



will try and get photos on here... but have no digital camera...

but il be in Ricky on weds again for emile's dancyness! so people can poke at it then!

i can be bothered to write all about what happened right now... too tired.. want sleep... and im lazy so cant be bothered to type...

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(no subject) [Nov. 8th, 2005|05:08 pm]
aargh my feet reeeally hurt. stopid walking to college. i walk for atleast 2hrs every day now (there and back)

its sooo exhausting! im absolutly fine the first day.. but by the second and third its just OW! doesnt help that im often then walking for another hour to go babysit! grr! OWELL my legs will get used to it!

umm im trying to think if there was a reason to post... OOH we got to play with latex! hehe is funny stuff! is gooey!

im bored i cant rember what i was actually guna write...
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